Maybe you stole personal belongings or fell into debt financing your addiction. You may have even disappeared for long periods on end and left your loved ones feeling abandoned and worried. It’s important that you do not beat yourself over what has happened in the past, as the past cannot be changed. However, history does not have to repeat itself which means you are in charge of your actions. Make a point of being in touch with those who you are rebuilding relationships with as this will show your commitment to wanting to keep these ties. It shows that you are invested in taking the time to make this work which speaks volumes to your friends and family.
If you can’t seriously commit to something, there’s nothing wrong with saying no. Saying no is better than committing to something and then not following through. Sincerity and integrity come from being truthful and genuine.
It will take many honest answers and reliable actions before your trust can begin to grow. A lack of healthy boundaries when a loved one is addiction can mean that you will be lied to, cheated on and stolen from. The repeated lies and broken promises, however, change things. You know she has the tools and the resources to continue in her recovery. You have no doubts that she’s taking her long term recovery seriously, and holds herself accountable. Your loved one who is in recovery is not a fragile human being.
Take Control Of Your Life
You might lose your job and even lose your freedom if you are arrested and spend time in jail. Losing the trust of others is often one of the hardest things that you’ll go through with addiction. Family members might hide their valuables, or may not want to spend time with you. When these situations come up, remind yourself that rebuilding life after addiction is earned instead of given.
The best thing you can do to start fresh and restore fractured relationships is be completely honest. Own up to and apologize for mistakes you may have made when you were using and be honest about how you would like to move forward. Over the course of time, your friends and relatives will begin to realize what a change you have made in your life and will begin to able to trust you again. – Buying flowers, writing letters and doing tasks to try and apologize after lying can be helpful, but the lying started inside. If you’re not in the right state of mind, you’ll often only do more damage to a relationship. Know when to work on yourself, and when you can approach your loved one again. If you stay consistent and humble, then you can regain the trust that you’ve lost.
More On Recovery
There are no guarantees here, and it’s not a formula, but the more these behaviors are implemented, the more progress is likely to occur. Such thoughts distract you from building trust within; however, you must forgive yourself and work on becoming the person you want to be to start building trust with others.
Addiction has no logic, morals or reason; it only wants what it wants. The first step in mending fences is to extend the proverbial olive branch. If you are not sure how a former acquaintance will receive a phone call, or you want some time to consider what you would like to say, send an e-mail or a letter. Tell the person you are in treatment or have completed treatment for your addiction, as the case may be.
On the contrary, don’t say you can do something if you can’t do it. If you are a good person, and you do the right thing, then good things will happen to you.
The old saying “talk is cheap” is especially true when it comes to recovery. Words hold very little weight when spoken by an addicted person.
Have a confidential, completely free conversation with a treatment provider about your financial options.
Set Your Sights On Rebuilding, Not Resurrection
You are confident in all that you’ve seen and experienced through the healing process. If you’re stuck in Stage 2, make a conscious effort give your loved one the benefit of the doubt. Call people from your support groups when you’re nervous about trusting. And keep the lines of communication open with your loved one.
You don’t have to be a robot, but try to find a method to what you do every day. Finding a job will be a big step in gaining the trust of others. Lighthouse Recovery Institute aims to improve the quality of life for anyone struggling with substance use or mental health disorder. We provide fact-based content about the nature of behavioral health conditions, treatment options, and their outcomes. The material we publish is researched, cited, edited, and reviewed by licensed medical professionals. The information we provide in our posts is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should never be used in place of the advice of your physician or another qualified healthcare provider.
Can you be trusted to say what you mean and vice versa? Integrity is a measure of the degree we are internally compatible with what we do. It also means that when you state an opinion, it is credible and backed up by sound thinking and evidence.
- Some friendships will not survive, even with the best of intentions, and will fall by the wayside.
- We consistently monitor the latest research from SAMHSA and NIDA to provide you with the most comprehensive addiction-related content.
- Working with a neutral third party as you begin to rebuild trust in your family can be very helpful in working towards honest and open communication.
- If you continue to focus on how others have wronged you, where you fall short, or your past mistakes, then you may continue to be distracted from opportunities for building trust in recovery.
- Take steps to prove to yourself that you’re worth the time and effort required to get healthy and do the right things.
Let them know you are in the process of getting your life back on track and that you would like them to be part of it. Trust is the foundation of the relationship between romantic partners. When addiction appears, it can wear down trust over time or shatter it all at once, depending on circumstances. Once compromised, trust is very challenging to get back.
Just as you learned to be patient in addiction treatment, you must continue to be patient and trust that God will repair relationships in His time. You may also find it beneficial to seek individualized therapy for yourself. Having a loved one with an addiction can take a serious toll on your mental health, especially if there was emotionally abusive behavior taking place. You may be struggling with anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, or anger issues that need treatment. You may also need to work on any codependent tendencies you have, as well as develop productive coping strategies for stressful situations.
Now is your chance to start a new marriage, prioritizing the things you want to do differently this time. Addictions sever relationships, replacing togetherness with what feels like insurmountable chasms. The foundations of a relationship may break apart in the wake of addiction, as cornerstones like trust and accountability disappear. By submitting this form, I agree to be contacted by Pyramid Healthcare. One of our experienced intake professionals will contact you shortly to discuss your treatment and recovery options. We respect your privacy, and all information shared with us is completely confidential. Trust can take years to build and even longer to rebuild – but it can also be broken with one single action.
You’re a survivor, which means that you’re strong enough to rise up and tackle whatever comes your way. If the relationship is important to you, know that the reward will be well worth the effort. If you’re doubting whether you’re ready to make this type of commitment, it may be time to reevaluate whether this person is someone you still wish to have in your life.
Growing up with a parent who has alcohol or substance use disorder can lead to negative effects on your mental health and more. Now that you’re sober, you can make better decisions that will benefit not just Alcohol yourself, but for everyone around you. Choose to do the right thing when any circumstance arises. Be polite to people, pick up after yourself, and just work on constantly changing yourself for the better.